Perfection or Perspective

We all know it is impossible to be perfect and yet, in many walks of life, we expect people in our lives to be just that. Sometimes people's perfection is only an illusion. Certain parents are deemed perfect because the mother stays home or the father coaches the little league team to victory. We do the same thing with events deeming them with title such as the perfect wedding, the perfect birth, or the perfect relationship.

Unfortunately, I fell victim to this system valuation in my own life. It didn't matter what it was.... my job, my now ended marriage, my health, my family, and even myself as a parent. However, it wasn't until I realized I was comparing my behind-the-scenes knowledge to their polished best that no one can be perfect.

When I became a mother, there were things I promised myself I would not say or do. Fast forward fifteen years and I can't tell you how many times words have come out of my mouth and as all that happened, I was literally eating my words. You can start out with the best intentions in life and still make mistakes. But, you know what? Life goes on. I may tell my kids to "dry it up" but they know I love them. I may be quick to anger and yet my kids forgive me.

Without forgiveness, what would any of us have? Truly. Father's Day, to many, is not just about the person whose name is on their birth certificate. It is also about our heavenly father. Every day no matter what we say/do or don't say/don't do if we ask for forgiveness, our heavenly Father gives us just that. A clean slate. He won't tell you forgiveness has been given but remind you of the bad things when the time may seem right. You don't have to ask him in front of hundreds. It can be between just the two of you.

Tomorrow when I celebrate Father's Day with my daddy, I will remember all the good things. I will remember my daddy went to work at a back breaking and sometimes mentally draining job for twenty-seven years. After quitting time was over at that job, he would then go to another. Every job my dad held his entire life was labor intensive. Growing up, I knew I would graduate high school and most likely college. My father did not get that luxury.

At fourteen my father had to quit school so that he could take care of the family farm. I had always known my dad had to do this but until a couple years ago, I didn't realize what "taking care" truly meant. He was responsible for milking the cows, collecting eggs, feeding the livestock, plowing acres of what would be the garden he was responsible for keeping alive, and if all that wasn't enough, he had to plant and tend to the tobacco so that the family would not lose their farm. After hearing my father tell me all those things, so many things made sense. He didn't just quit school to help his family. He quit school and was denied a high school diploma because he had to keep an entire farm running and provide a roof over his head plus his parents, sister, and brother.

At fourteen, I didn't have to make adult decisions or truly, be an adult. Gabriel likes to complain about his one chore at my house but when his papa was his age, he would have loved to only have dishwasher duty.

My dad has always been quick to put himself down due to his lack of education. He has never considered himself to be a smart man but that is not the case. You could show him how to get somewhere ONCE and he never needed a refresher. Want to know the best fishing spots on the Tennessee River? Pickwick? He can still tell you and knows both bodies of water like the back of his hand. Not only did he fish, he made customized fishing poles complete with all the bells and whistles. We were at a craft fair once and he saw an airplane made out of aluminum soft drink cans. He bought one and promptly brought it home and took it apart. Less than a day later, he had already made a pattern and was on his way to making his first airplane. Every person we knew was saving us aluminum cans because he was needing cans faster than people could drink the contents. Did I mention he set up a booth and made over $800? Then there was the wood work. He could make anything out of wood. One of his last projects I were the "washer games." Similar to corn hole. The last birthday we were able to celebrate with my sister was spent playing the washer game.

When daddy was working at the church one of his main responsibilities was driving the bus which required a CDL. When I was in high school, Tennessee decided everyone who held a CDL must re-certify. It put fear into my daddy because it required him to read a manual and then take a test. However, we had a plan. Mom and I took turns reading the manual word for word into a microphone onto tapes. Once we would complete a section, he would then listen to the tape and follow along in the book. The day came for the test and we were all nervous. Well, he aced it. He did not miss ONE question including the air brakes section. My daddy didn't graduate but is smarter than hundreds of men with only book sense.

Perspective. It is all about perspective. When I celebrate my thirty-seventh Father's day with my daddy tomorrow, I will see a man who has aged but I will also see the man I thought owned the church. Literally owned the church. The man who took me to Sea World and Disney World. The man who took me to Panama City more times than I can count. The man who fought the nurse who told him he could not wheel his four year old to the operating room doors. The man who has never met a stranger. The man who has taken money out of his pocket to feed a stranger. The man who let me swim when he was jug fishing. The man who made sure Ms. Julia got back to her home after walking to her son's grave twice a day. The man who taught me having and keeping a good name is important. The man who took me all over the United States listening to bluegrass and making more memories than I can count. The man who became the best papa every kid deserves.

As I said in the beginning, as humans we like to compare our "life cards" with those around us and if I do that, I didn't get a daddy like others did. With that being said, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, I wouldn't trade *MY* daddy for any other daddy on this planet. I will end this post by saying my daddy gave me away in 1996 but has never turned me away. Perspective. It's all about perspective.